I love my husband. I gave up everything to be with him. I was a high school teacher and loved it. When we got married he told me he didn't want a working wife. He needs a woman who will stay home and have babies. I tried to compromise and ask if maybe I could open tutoring pods to make money on the side and fill that hole that will be left from being a teacher. He said no... So I quit and I am a sahm. We have 10 children. I don't think I've ever went a full year without being pregnant. He's very religious. My family is very religious. For me I don't know anymore. I've started to lose my faith over time. Since our 4th child ever time I got pregnant my pregnancy became more and more high risk and I was getting sicker and sicker. I had our 10th son 3 months ago and my husband is already ready to have another. I told him I don't think I want my kids. My body can't handle it. He is saying let God decide. For the first I kind of put my foot down and said I don't want anymore children. I just had my 36th birthday and at my party when I opened my husband's gift it was the what to expect when you're expecting book and he asked me in front of everyone how I felt about having his child again. I felt so awkward and said ok. I spoke to my mom about things in private and she says we should have another baby and that kids can be a deal breaker in relationships and I should just listen and have more kids. I thought when all our kids are out of the house maybe I could go back to teaching but sadly doesn't seem like that's gonna happen