I apologize in advance for the long message. I just need someone to talk to about this and I can't/don't want to tell any friends or family.

So I have had a feeling that my husband has been keeping/hiding/sneaking something from me for quite awhile now. On Wednesday my alarm bells were going off. I knew he straight up lied to me. He said he was going to go stretch and when he came back upstairs went straight to the mouthwash. I was like hm that's weird. So I asked him and he made a stupid excuse like oh I think I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. So I was like okay something is definitely going on. He was watching our daughter while I was prepping dinner so I went downstairs and was searching and I found the pen and cartridge (Delta 8 a strand of marijuana but not much is known about it and I told him years ago I didn't like him using that stuff. I have never minded real marijuana). I went upstairs and it felt like the blood left my body as I was about to call him out on it. We have a long conversation and he apologizes and says it is old and he has only used it 3 times. I suspect something else and kept questioning like are you sure? You only did it those three times etc. and he was insistent.

Tonight (Friday) we were talking more and I was telling him I forgive him for lying but can't really trust him yet and he was like well actually I need to confess more. And told me basically he's been hiding it from me for the past 2-3 years using regular marijuana when we had it and the Delta 8 when he was out. I knew about the actual marijuana but it was the Delta 8 he was lying about. He would take cash out of the safe to go buy it. I have been suspicious for awhile and knew he was taking money so I started counting it. Anyway I am not really sure what to do or what I am even wanting to get out of this. Maybe more just to vent and be listened to and see if any one has advice on how to move forward. He thinks he has a substance abuse problem which is probably true between marijuana and alcohol and him trying to self medicate. He has improved things drastically and now we have an 8 month old daughter. But he still says he constantly thinks about smoking or drinking. He got referred to a psychiatrist for ADHD so he says he will call and move forward with that in hopes they can help.

If you got this far, thanks for readin.