So low and so fed up of waiting

So I am 10 weeks 3 days or 10 weeks 4 days I've lost track but anyway I have to wait till I'm 13 weeks for my first scan , only because I'm away during 12 weeks ,

booked before I knew .

But I'm so tired of worrying about , have a done something to lose it without knowing/ realising. Have I already lost it. I'm just so tired of being anxious and low . I just wanna enjoy the pregnancy already and be happy 😭😭😭 this feels like torture not what you expect pregnancy to be , you expect it to be magical and amazing from the get go ( I know it does eventually once you progress) but I didn't know the first trimester would be so horrible! Please give me some reassuring words. :(