someone please help advise me here. please stick with this whole post. i am desperate. i am lost. im broken, and im an emotional wreck. about to have a baby. with a 4 year old. i feel so betrayed and sad. i am trying not to sound selfish or be selfish but it’s very very hard. i am 38 weeks pregnant. my son has abnormalities. we don’t know exactly what could be wrong or what will happen it’s many different outcomes. he will be taken to the NICU immediately after birth for we don’t know how long but minimum 5 days. my husband and i have been together 8 years. we have our share of issues but we always stick together and we make it work. we have a four year old daughter as well. the love he has for our kids is no doubt in my mind. he is an outstanding father. he had substance abuse issues before we met, and recently relapsed and has finally decided to get get himself back together but 6 days before my induction at 39 weeks….. he needs to do this and i am very supportive over this. and im thinking great enough time for him to go through the worst of it, and be ready and healthy enough for induction day. i can’t help but feel abandoned though and so betrayed by this. i really understand him and that this is for our kids and himself. him being sober is priority. but what about me? what about labor? he doesn’t want to be around our daughter or me while he goes through withdrawals and has went his mothers. he can’t answer the phone or text back because he is doing quite bad. i get it. however now…. i’m having labor like pains and i am horrified. i am so scared of doing this alone because my 4 year old needs to stay with my mom while having baby and there is no other support but my husband. he is in bad shape, and i can’t help but feel like this is some kind of sick fucking plan of his for whatever reason call me crazy, call me selfish, whatever cause i do feel that way but we have had our induction scheduled for awhile. he knew this was coming and when it would happen. he knows i could go into labor any time before that! so he chose literally days before to do this and get himself together? i feel like this was planned and is some type of way for him to abandon us. i know im probably wrong for feeling that way but how can i not? now i think i am going into labor or at least very soon and wont make it to my induction due to the symptoms im having. its insane he can’t even answer the fucking phone. its pissing me off so much but i can’t help to feel conflicted and bad about it. i’m trying to be supportive and understanding cause he’s doing the right thing and he is doing it for our kids and himself and me like i have said already but why now… you had plenty of time before this…. what’s worse is he is completely unavailable to me with the not answering calls or anything and i’m so hurt. i’m so betrayed. why would he do this to me? i feel so wrong cause this is an incredibly difficult situation but he can’t even answer the phone… he left me and my daughter to do this and i couldn’t understand why he couldn’t do this home not at his mothers…. he could of been away from us in a separate room and we would not see or hear from him but he would be home….. i have no idea what to do here. i also have not told my mom about this because my mom has never been a fan of him, and i know all hell is going to break loose if she knows i could possibly be doing this alone. my mom also has heart issues multiple heart attacks and many many stents, and just had a heart attack literally 2 days ago. she is already my plan for care to my daughter while in the hospital and my husband with me and the baby in the NICU…. what am i even expected to do here? i’ve called and texted him over a thousand times i think no exaggeration. i’ve said how i felt. i’ve told him multiple times i am having pains, it’s not going away, and i think we are having this baby today. and i get nothing. no answer to my calls, no call back. no text back. i understand what he’s going through but he missed our daughters birth…. i am feeling like he will miss our sons. our daughter and our son are his only kids. i was devastated he missed the birth of our daughter and never really moved past it. i feel horrible but i feel like this is unforgivable. especially considering if i am in labor and having this baby today its like he thinks im joking or lying so he will just come home… but im not joking…. or he just thinks all will be fine and its okay for this to be happening. i dont know what he thinks. but this is unreal to me. this is insane. i am breaking down. this is going to break open a huge can of worms and make my life much harder if im having this baby and he isn’t there and i do this alone. my mom already doesn’t like him at all and never has. this will make our whole family dynamic fall apart completely in shambles and i feel he doesn’t care. i feel he doesn’t even think of anything going on with me or the baby. i feel so so horrible and wrong and selfish for all the ways im feeling and how im thinking but am i really wrong? am i not justified? what do i do…. this will affect our relationship, and my relationship with my mother greatly. my whole life and family will be broken and gone right form under my feet. how do i come back from this? what do i do? how am i supposed to get through this? how do i make this work? how do i try and get through to him? do i give up? please help me. please advise me. someone…. please. i can’t do this and im spiraling. i love my husband. he is a good man, he is a good father. i want him to get better, and i don’t want to lose him. i don’t want to lose my mother either, but he’s putting me in an incredibly difficult situation with her because of all this i don’t know what i am going to do. i can’t take anymore and im so so scared im devastated. i’ve never been so hurt or betrayed in my life.