I want to cancel our wedding

My husband and I are supposed to have a wedding next summer, but I’m so tired of arguing about it and kinda want to just cancel it.

We got married and had a small reception for my family already, but the more traditional wedding is supposed to take place with his friends and family in his home country. I feel disappointed because my friends and family didn’t get to see me in my wedding dress or watch me walk down the aisle or hear us say our vows and get the full wedding experience and properly celebrate with us. And now, my husband and his family are basically excluding me from planning the big wedding. They have good intentions— they know the wedding culture in their country and speak the language (which I barely speak right now but am learning). So I get how they think it’s more efficient and better for everyone if they just do it. But planning my wedding has been my dream since I was just a little kid, and they have sucked all the fun put of it and leave me with nothing but the stressful parts. Anytime my husband mentions some of the planning to me, he’s basically just asking for my approval of what they’ve already decided and he won’t compromise if I don’t like it. Unless I pitch a fit to try to make him listen.

I’m so over it. I hate that I can’t even get one thing that I want without having a whole meltdown tantrum argument with him.

Not to mention, I am currently sacrificing EVERYTHING to live with him while he pursues his dream job. I left my friends and family, a job I liked, my hobbies, my dogs, basically everything so that we wouldn’t have to do long distance anymore. And it just makes me so sad and angry that he can’t even throw me a bone and agree to ONE thing for our wedding without a fight.

He often claims that it’s about money, but I’m the one paying for most of it and I know that I have the funds for the things I want. He just doesn’t think it’s necessary to spend my money on something that HE doesn’t care about. (Videographer, drinks, certain food, a professional to do my hair and makeup so I don’t have to do it myself… things like that.) I know that the things I end up fighting him about aren’t necessary to have the wedding, but they are things I have been wanting to do at my wedding as I dreamed about it for years! If I can afford it, why does he have to argue with me about it every single time??

At this point, I just want to say to heck with it all. We’re already married anyway so why bother spending money on a wedding that I didn’t even get to plan…

I have tried to explain how I feel to him so many times but he just isn’t getting it. Any suggestions???