I want to preface this by saying that I hate upsetting my husband to the point I don’t say anything to him. And by upsetting I don’t mean yelling or violence but more so annoyed/bothered.

My moms having surgery today to determine what kind of cancer she has. I live a few hours away and my mom asked I come take care of her after. She’s been wishy washy on how long she needs me first it was a few weeks then a weekend. I’m thinking it’d 2-3 weeks. My 25 year old brother lives at home but isn’t capable of taking care of her(ie. cooking meals)

My husband offered to drive back this weekend so I could take care of her. I felt bad missing the surgery but he didn’t think the train was a good idea given spike in covid. I also felt bad not taking his offer to drive me back so I dealt with missing the surgery. Typically we drive back Friday night but lately it’s been a Saturday drive if he’s swamped with work or too tired to drive.

My sister wants me there tonight to take care of my mom(she’s taking her to the surgery and staying with her afterwards) My mom said to call her because if she’s going to bed then I don’t need to come until tomorrow.

My husband’s grandmother sent a text about his grandfathers birthday tomorrow. My husband said we’d be there. That night he said “what are we doing about Saturday?” I said “what about Saturday?” And he goes on to say it’s his grandfather’s birthday and how well go there then he’ll drop me at my moms to “visit” and I can determine if she needs me longer. I got really upset that he brought up not seeing my mom until tomorrow afternoon so I didn’t say anything and went to go cry in the bathroom.

Now idk what to do because I did my typical not say anything for fear of upsetting him(he’ll also 100% wonder why my brother can’t handle my mom tonight and tomorrow until the party’s over).

What do I do? I’m realizing now I’m unsure if he was planning on us leaving tonight or tomorrow and if it’s tomorrow he’ll be really upset if we have to leave tonight.