Ranting + need advice.

I want someone to look at this from a neutral point of view.

It's going to be a little long, read if you have a few mins.

I'm pretty sure I have postpartum depression. I've been taking my sessions. My therapist thinks it's time to start medication. I have such low energy. I can't get off the bed all day. I've lost interest in everything. Food used to make me feed good, now it makes me feel sick. I resent and hate everyone around me mostly. Iv started focusing on the negative stuff.

Okay so I had my baby in April. He's gonna turn 6 months old in a week. l've had a very traumatic pregnancy. I was diagnosed with hg pregnancy, barely survived. Ended up getting a bad case of C-section. Stitches on infected. Gallbladder pains started. Had to get my gallbladder removed 7 weeks after my C-section thru laparoscopy. Struggled with breastfeeding my baby but I pushed thru. Now he's exclusively breastfed.

My husband is a nice understanding man. But he can be a weirdo who doesn't wanna understand stuff sometimes. We knew he was gonna resign from his old job and continue his studies in som

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good foreign university. We have savings to get (barely). we plan to move out of country but til then we're living with my in-laws. In our country it's a tradition to have your own room/portion at your in laws place. My husband helps his dad in his business and his dad will start to pay him as soon as his resign is put in action. Now he keeps studying.

He is always studying. If he's not studying he's using his phone, or sitting in the bathroom for hours. Or with his mom/dad in their room. I keep having to remind him to spend time with me (at this point l've given up lol)

Now I have a 5 yo girl, and almost 6 months old boy.

One room, one washroom, 4 people and a lot of stuff. It gets so draining being with the kids all day with no help. I've asked my husband that I need my me-time. I have to spend an hour or two with myself alone so I can stay sane! I have to be at a good mental space to raise 2 kids. My 5yo, goes to preschool. That's another baggage. She cries to go to school. Children hit her and she won't say stuff.

I've met the teacher quite a lot of times about this.

My girl feels so left out when I'm tending to her brother and if we ever do something together I have to leave in the middle cuz the baby is crying. I can tell by her face she is lonely. My poor baby. My 5.45 months old is very needy but does his own playtime.

Now tell me is it too much if I ask my husband to take care of our little one for 2 hours so I can have my me time? Is it too much to ask of him to spend time with me? Or to give us quality family time? He think I'm not supportive enough. He keeps saying

"nothing ever satisfies you" We're having a bit of money problems as well. This career change thi told him l'd help him. I'd be supportive but I just can't seem to handle it well anymore. I keep getting panic attacks. I can't step out of the house.

My therapist said that I have to change my environment. Now I'm confused. Will I be considered unsupportive if I keep asking him to take care of our babies. I get so exhausted. I end up getting angry on my poor kids. I don't want to ever let out my anger on them and for that I have to change this all.

Lately I feel hopeless, sad, low, done, not cared for.

My back aches. I can't walk properly. I end up forgetting to take my pills everyday. God. How do I deal with this all?