He told me to suck it up

I am a total asshole. To give a background, my partner and I have been together for years and for the most part we have no issues and are very happy. I have a hyper sensitivity to repetitive noises and when triggered it’s very distressing and paralyzing for me. I have worked through a lot of it over the years but I believe it will always be with me to a degree. When I’m tired and stressed I don’t have as much tolerance to it (not that I am excusing what I did). My partner has known this well before we became a couple and I manage it very well so it doesn’t affect us hardly at all.

I am known for being logical and well tempered. We have NEVER gotten into a yelling fight and always talk things out.

My partner has a late night sweet tooth and loves popsicles. I don’t blame him as they are delicious. He was eating the popsicle so loudly and making disgusting slurping sounds every few seconds. I ask him if he could just take it down a notch as I was starting to feel very uncomfortable since I am sitting next to him watching TV. I should have just left and sat in a different room since it is my issue and that’s what I usually do. In response to my request he stated “I am going to eat this how I want and you need to suck it up.”

Without missing a beat, I take the nub’bin of the remaining popsicle and throw it. It wasn’t even a thought in my head that maybe that’s not cool of me to take his treat and ruin it. I just wanted the noise to stop.

I quickly apologize, clean up the popsicle, and offer to get him a new one. He was mad- but since he doesn’t have a hot temper, he was just seemingly grumpy. I try to talk with him but he can’t get over the fact that I snatched it from him. Then he says everything is fine and to just go to bed.

I have apologized multiple times at this point and I am going to get him a new box of popsicles tomorrow. I am still just in awe that I did that without a thought that I shouldn’t. It was just pure instinct.

Has anything like this happened you? How should I go about making this right? Right now I feel like I am the toxic as hell person. 😔