Me and my child’s father broke up in January of this year . I still let him get his child on weekends . His other bm kept his (2) kids from him a year and a half after they broke up . Only letting him get them once every 2-3 months only for a couple hours . Summer of last year he started getting them twice a month . Around that time his bm reached out to me to be “cool and get to know each other”. She’d text me almost everyday. She’d text me more than him . I have never met her in person . I never went with him to pick up his kids .

So January we break up . It was “finalized” march . That’s when I told her me and him were no longer together. That’s when she asks him to go to the rodeo with her and the kids . (He told me not her) and he declined cuz he thought it was wierd . She then started really nice to him video chatting him instead of regular calls and wanting to talk about her day and stuff outside of the kids . She’s sending him pics of herself and make him meet her friends on FaceTime . He started getting his kids overnights and Around mid June she finally brought up their relationship and wanting to do a birthday together for their son flirting and saying how after the party the adults drinking and playing games and if something happens between them it happens. He admit he entertained that conversation with her but that he doesn’t want a relationship with her he wanted to see how serious she was . Meanwhile she’s telling me she doesn’t want him and that they only talk about the kids not knowing that I know she’s lying . It didn’t bother me because me and him were strictly coparents but also “friends” until she started getting wierd she started texting me less and when she did it was personal questions . So they didn’t the birthday together and he told her he just wanted to coparent. She got in her feelings and took the kids away this time blocking him . July 12-September 9th he was blocked . Aug 15 he asked me to tell her to message her so he could ask his son how his first day of school went and for pictures. She sent me 1 pic to send to him and it was the back of his head in his school uniform walking into the front door . The next month we were talking about how they coparenting and her asking advice and I said they just need to talk it out that she wouldn’t like him taking his kids everytime they argue or in their feelings . He stayed blocked another month. then September I posted my gifts from my birthday on instagram and he had bought me stuff so I posted it and tagged him . She unblocks him the first thing she says is

“(My name) said we should talk “

Which I found wierd cuz she could’ve just said hey or something.

Then they talked for literally 2 days about the kids and she started asking him if he still had feelings for me and when he said no she sent the screenshot of my story of the stuff he got me for my birthday going off on him. I said nothing to her about it . The rest of the month they were talking about the kids and saying she wants to meet my other child and have a talk with her . She’s 8 . Which again wierd because why? and why not just ask me . So this whole time stayed in my lane didnt tell her he was telling me stuff until he told me that . I kindly addressed it and she caught an attitude that he told me and said he’s playing both sides and that she doesn’t like hes coparenting different with me than her . Even he told told her that it’s because if he tells her something she gets the wrong idea or they argue and she keeps the kids but that if they are cool for a while he will eventually get to that point with her . She then messaged me saying ALL the stuff he’s already told me about him entertaining her stuff that happened months ago but she tried to make it seem recent although her was blocked . So instead of saying I know she’s lying. I said oh yea he told me he had a baby otw it must be with you congrats and I told him right after I sent it she said she it wasn’t her but that she didn’t care that he did then that night she called him reading him our messages and telling him things I’ve said the past year and asking who he has a baby with and he thought it was funny but declined having a baby on the way so she blocked him again and blocked me too that was a week ago …

All that to say

I get it . she still has feelings for him but what does that have to do with how me and him coparent ? Why be jealous that we coparent different. Why read him our messages??I guess she expected us to break up and not be cool. Idk .

But can someone explain that?

Like is she going to come back in a month or 2 and do this all over again or…?

Because

Me and him are still cool .

He apologized to me for the drama

And he still gets our child .

I blocked her and if she comes back around to be cool with me I’m not . I don’t want drama.

Open to friendly advice too

@realist - I notice you comment on basically everything is this like a full time job for you ? I was hoping you’d stop by . First of all I don’t care what they have going on . Me and him don’t just talk about her he’ll mention stuff here and there. I don’t ask about her and many times I’d tell him to stop telling me about her and I clearly said I stayed in my lane until she wanted to meet my other child that is not with him and talk to her . And many people have an ex they are still cool with that end up spilling the tea on how relationships been since they broke up . He tells me about work , his kids, his bm , his family, his friends, other women , his free time , his bills, LIFE. he just needs to vent sometimes and that’s ok . We hold a healthy coparenting for our child and our mental health. We aren’t sleeping together, flirting or doing things as a family. So yea I agree he should take her to court that is in the works now but her blocking me I could care less .

@realist2 -insult or you can’t take a joke ? I do see you on a lot of posts , your name matches your comments too. Nothing to be mad at . You could be a lot nicer tho and I don’t like drama or I would’ve been addressed her but carry on .

@G- yes. I talked to her and got to know her because she wanted to get to know me mostly being nosy cuz I was the “next woman” but also becasue I was around her kids . I was just being cordial not like I answered everything she asked . He liked that we were cool he didn’t care if he got brought up in our conversation . He did entertain her at one point but he was honest about it . I don’t care to know what they have going on honestly but her asking about my other child rubbed me the wrong way idk how to explain it . I am not with him so him going to court is on him. He can get our child anytime he wants as well as when he gets his other kids . It will have to be weekends because his 2 are in school and our baby is in daycare . Even if we were to stop being cool he can get our child .

@casey- he was hoping they could come to an agreement and communicate without drama and without emotions involved …but he is gathering everything for court .