So if you saw I wrote about a week ago I am going to divorce him. He had the power to fix this but kept betraying me. This past week I found him still searching her name in his phone photos and he gives excuses as to why after I have placed clear boundaries(do not look for her search her …. About 6 months ago he google searched her), and I discovered he is drinking (a clear deal breaker from years ago that he knows is a deal breaker had two dui in past before me, and he goes away for work on work trip and got blackout drunk at a strip club. Well he continues to blame shift and tells me things are my fault and he has been trying this past week to make me happy and feel better but is not receptive (after I just find out this week all of this….plus have to deal with hurricane Milton ), then he tells me I cause arguments and can’t just be happy I’m the reason we are where we are etc….. such lies!!!! I tell him no react to how he treats me. Well I said to him (I don’t want to spring divorce on him right away because I know he will get nasty fast) that we need space. It is my last hope to save our marriage and give him a wake up call…. I said to him it will either a. Make you miss me and realize you need to get help to see why you keep doing these things to me and fix it or b. You would rather as your actions have shown not be with me and be a dad and not a husband. He jumped right away to let’s just sell the home, I have rights you can’t take both boys for space I’ll take our 2 yr old you take 1 yr old. I said…. We are married I am stay at home mom what do you mean? You work full time how during this space can you take one son and me the other? What are you talking about it’s not fair I get both????? Calling the car his when I went to get space for a second to my sister in law … Well later after a blow out and him cursing at me and he was about to go out but I said I would and him telling me to f*cking go, I went to my sis in law and his brother house… when I get back two hours later 11 at night… I calmly say we need space and reiterate why I am asking for it to see … I tell him calmly he mentioned things about divorce and why would he make things nasty? I’ve done nothing to deserve a nasty divorce “if that’s where we are headed” why not be civil and nice about it??? He pulled up Bible verses about forgiveness and still claims I have not forgiven him and I tell him it s absolutely insane to say that as I have been the most forgiving to him and continue to forgive and give chance after chance after chance. And the reasons we argue is my reactions to further betrayals or him just yelling at me and being mean to me for no reason. I said to him please let’s get space to sees. Or B. He said he doesn’t want space because he is scared he’ll like it. I told him that is the answer. He hasn’t desired me it’s been now almost a month since intimate and before that average was every two weeks… and I would always be the one to be like men have needs etc and he would tell me I know I wanted to but tired or “always arguing” which is false….. he said of course he would probably be happy because it’s been like this fur 2.5 years… I said no it has not been and he blame shifts and when I say to give me examples as to what he claims I am doing because I am the one who has been doing everything to make it work he is grasping at nothing pulling excuses from when this all started 2.5 years ago………anyway. What in the world do I do?? Help please

Also him mentioning he should have one baby our two year old… he works full time and goes away to work a week at a time…. I don’t want my babies in daycare. My parents who the babies love are off during week so when I have to get a job I can get a part time job and my parents can watch babies and avoid daycare which also helps him with cutting costs to pay for child support. But from his comments he is making it seem like he would just pay extra just for out of spite (even though he has hurt me and done this to our marriage not me). What do I do??? I don’t want my babies in daycare.