Tomorrow there’s 2 events going on (at the same time) for dia de los muertos. Last year we went to one that was pretty boring. Nothing crazy and the food trucks were okay. We intentionally avoided the other event because my husband had a minor infidelity (not physically cheating) and the woman involved plays a huge role in the event (sponsoring and hosting). I was still hurt last year because it had only been a year since it all happened so that’s why we went to other parade.

However after our experience last year, we see this year isn’t going to be any different. The other event has a lot more going on and I really wanted to go…it’s hard. At first, I was pretty set on being okay and being able to go. But someone shared a community post about her for the event tomorrow.

I couldn’t help but look and she’s stunning. I’m struggling to move past it but these insecurities run deep. She’s the opposite of me. Nails, hair and make up done. She has a butt and big boobs, and she’s single right now. I don’t think that my husband will actually cheat or try anything but if seeing her face or her name on social media makes me feel like crap, I can’t imagine being in person and keeping my cool together. We’re constantly going to be seeing/hearing her and it’s like I don’t want to ruin our time but I also don’t want to waste our time at the other boring event.

Idk if I should just suck it up and go. Should I talk to my husband about my concerns? And how do I even tell him that I’m feeling threatened and insecure around her?

I’ve worked so hard on myself. A few years prior to all this I was very depressed and became suicidal. I used to avoid looking at my reflection because I thought I was hideous. I eventually stopped taking care of myself and lost a lot of weight. I’ve grown so much but apparently not enough. Now I’m stuck between going to the boring event or seeing someone so often that only reminds me of the pain it brought me. Do I tell my husband that I’m still not over it?…honestly any advice would be so helpful…I’ve never felt so confused about how im feeling and what I wanna do.