Husband left

I work from home. My husband and I work opposite schedules so he watches the kids. I tell him I’m taking a work call for a few mins and shut the door. I hear the baby crying like she’s hungry. I open the door and see my husband punching the couch a foot away from our baby freaking out. I’ve seen him do this before over the years. Not often and it’s always at like the wall or couch or something. I am planning on talking to him about it.. that’s so bad. But so I grab the baby and say you didn’t touch her right? And I think that set him off me asking if he hurt our baby. I know he didn’t. I know he wouldn’t but honestly it does scare me, my dad was the same way growing up. Never at anyone but would take his angry behavior out on objects

My 4 year old is crying in the other room after. I go over and tell her it’s ok and I can tell that really made my husband mad. He scared her I know and I’m trying to comfort her. But I think all he’s thinking is I’m making it look like she “should” be scared or something. He goes and says he’s going back to his home city and grabs the keys and slams the front door. I don’t think he’s really going back just trying to make me upset or something. He turns his location off on his phone.

He’s been clear parenthood has been really hard for him lately and he has no patience. Also none of this is normal behavior in our house. Hes had those outbursts years and years ago before kids… we don’t hardly fight at all either. He had an outburst:

I am so sad our kids witnessed this and he’s gonna come back home and I don’t know what to say. Also I am on the clock now for work and have told him last week my work has been firing people lately because they’re watching our computer screens now. He’s annoyed any time I ask for help lately too on his days off. Last night I almost said something to him about it bc I have felt tension but didn’t. And now this.

I guess I am venting/don’t know how I should be feeling sounding to him when he gets home. I dont know how to feel. I know he’s having a hard time so part of me feels like I can’t be mad or sad at him. I don’t know what’s right. He’s obviously struggling but his behavior was so inappropriate.