i need advice on therapy please

i’m 24 and i know i have things i need to work on. i see the issues i have yet don’t know how to fix them. people always suggest therapy. my mom made me go to a christian therapists when i was 14 after finding out about self harm and ED. i resented her and this therapy and i think it put a bad taste in my mouth towards therapy. i’m happy i found out my diagnosis at the time but i felt judged by the therapist. i decided to go again myself when i was 21 after attempting. my doctor (very faith based) referred me to a therapist. i have health insurance through my dad but it was still $112 every time and she wanted me to come weekly. i didn’t feel like she was helping but i also only went 2 times. i stopped going cause i can’t afford that. i went again when i was 23 because i KNOW i need it. i had one appointment, digitally because i can’t seem to wake up in the mornings and leave the house, for years now. (another reason i need therapy. also i work nights). it was $110 weekly but i was willing to do it cause i need the help. i couldn’t wake up for the appointments and it gave me anxiety to be on the phone with a stranger. i don’t even call friends and family. i never talk on the phone unless i have to. (this was also a huge issue in my previous relationship as we were long distance. but i just can’t get out of it. i hateee being on the phone especially facetime.) i ended it because they were charging me when i wasn’t showing up. i didn’t want to keep wasting money if i wasn’t going to commit.

i think i would align much better with a more affordable therapist. how can i get that? do i need to get my own insurance? are there therapists who are just way cheeper? also how do you find YOUR therapist? people i know found that and i’m like how?….i never felt comfortable or safe with any of mine. i also never stayed long enough to really know..so i don’t know.