Why am I justifying my life choices???

I’m angry at myself for sitting there and justifying to my parents my life choices or marriage to them. Just beginning of this week my mother said, “I’m saying this because you’re my daughter, don’t take it the wrong way, but don’t make the mistake to give up your savings to renovate the house”

And stuff like this just get planted on me and here I am explaining myself.

I do have trigger points. I realize my parents have no boundaries or filter because they believe even at 39 yrs old, I should still listen to them. It makes me furious that they feel the need to treat me like I’m 12 and I seem to have to intellectual ability to run my life without them butting in every judgy thought that comes to mind. I don’t question their “plans” and investments, even so it’s met with hostility. And it infuriates me how I still feel the need to prove them that I’m great my being manipulated into sharing details. I feel like No Matter what I do and how hard I try , Nothing will change that they don’t value me as a strong individual. How do I stop myself from trying time and again to please my parents but I feel like I crash and burn?? I’m beginning to feel extreme resentment especially towards my mother, my empathy is almost gone, I love her but I’m afraid this rift is growing my heart colder.