Devastated

6 weeks pregnant today, and just waiting for the loss to begin. My hcg is still building but cervix is long, squishy and very open. Second time this year. Im very put off to even try again in future, its too painful. I wasted all my twenties trying for a baby, after 9 and half years i finally got pregnant with my son, i cant do that again. Sorry im just upset and having a moan.....louisa i am just going by cervix