I want to end my relationship

Hey ladies, I need some help and encouragement. My partner and I met April 2024 and fell head over heels. I knew he was my husband the moment I met him and he knew I was his wife at the same moment. We spend everyday together. I’ve met his family and he’s met mine. He’s very loving, caring, generous, Godly, respectful, sweet, kind, romantic, and considerate. He is my best friend. We’ve had some struggles throughout our relationship but it has nothing to do with us. His uncle grew to have creepy perverted feelings for me and claimed that he was in love with me and I gave him a boner as I was cooking dinner for my boyfriend for our anniversary. His mother (his uncle’s mother) is a diagnosed narcissist who excuses this behavior. This caused so much stress in me and my partner’s relationship. His uncle and grandmother talked negatively of us and demeaned me and our relationship. His uncle is racist too might I add. He claims to hate Jewish people. My partner is nothing like this. He is incredibly sweet and loving. Anyway, we decided to distance ourselves from that part of his family. His mother loves and adores me. His father loves and respects me. His brother loves me. I have an amazing relationship with his immediate family. His mother and I text each other regularly especially now that I’m pregnant with her first grandchild. Anyway, the problem is that I have been feeling frustrated with my health and my part. I had ADHD but can’t take stimulants due to being pregnant. I suffer from unexplained chronic fatigue and pain. I’m in school and I’m going back to work soon. We have also had to deal with his grandfather almost dying. My family is chaotic so it’s been hard living with them while we save money for a home. His father died two years ago so he is still grieving. I have some frustration with my boyfriend and here’s the list:

1. He minimizes my concerns.

2. He makes jokes about me not working even though I told him it’s because of my ADHD that I cannot take medicine for and my chronic fatigue and pain which I am seeing multiple doctors for to resolve so that I can continue working. I just got a new job.

3. He is worried about me cheating because his mother cheated on his dad and it destroyed their family.

4. He asks me what’s wrong all the time. Once I answer, if he isn’t pleased with my answer, he will continue to ask 5-10 times in a row within the hour. This frustrates me because sometimes I’m not ready to talk about my feelings and sometimes I am ok and he just doesn’t believe it.

5. He changes time a lot and I don’t he respects my time because he shows up late. He doesn’t do things I ask the first time. He also has ADHD so maybe this is the reason for these issues.

6. When our relationship began, I feel like I had to press for him to tell his family and post photos of us. I had to tell his mom of the pregnancy because I knew it would take him forever to tell her. He bought an engagement ring and took months to tell his mother. This annoyed me because she had told him months ago that she would be so happy if we decided to get married. He excuses this by saying he was anxious due to this being his first serious relationship.

7. He wants me to update him on my whereabouts and what I spend but doesn’t always do the same.

8. He ruins things I love. For example, we went shopping at a makeup store and I love makeup. He complained about all the prices being expensive but did not bat an eye when I spent $1200 to go to his dream football game.

8. He complains I spend too much money but on a daily basis I either don’t spend anything or spend under $50. Meanwhile, it’s ok for him to buy things on affirm he doesn’t need.

9. He once accused me of being with him because of his credit score. Guys, he had a horrible score for most of our relationship and just now got it to 730 so this is not true at all. He often does or says things and says that they’re jokes but they hurt me. He does apologize but the hurt doesn’t leave me.

10. He disrespects my space by leaving dirty clothes all around, stuff everywhere, and trails dirt into my space and doesn’t clean it.

11. He makes fun of things I enjoy. He says they’re jokes but they hurt me.

12. He complains we don’t have enough sex but I am losing sexual attraction because I am frustrated by all of the above and don’t really want to have sex with him anymore so I either don’t or force myself to.

13. He interrupts me a lot, blows up my phone if I don’t answer, feels slighted if I send him to voicemail, presses me for answers, super clingy, and gifts me sorry gifts which are annoying because I don’t want an I’m sorry gift I want you to do what you say youre going to do, he hounds me about working and makes jokes about me not working.

I’m not innocent. Here are a list of things I do that I know annoy him:

1. I talk a lot

2. I can be inflexible and often complain when I feel like people can be better and do better than what they’re currently doing and being. I am a very tough love person. I tell people the truth and I expect them to tell me the truth. I expect a lot from myself and from other people especially my partner.

3. I like expensive things which I know annoys him because he’s young and cannot afford them at this time

4. I am indecisive and change my mind a lot

5. I get annoyed very easily

6. I am very OCD about my space and do have anxiety when things are disorganized or dirty

7. I have a lot of health issues

8. I can be confrontational which is something I’m working on but it’s still a work in progress

9. I’m very emotional. I’m the sort of person that cries when frustrated.

10. I make promises I don’t keep

11. I do hold grudges and have a hard time letting things go

12. I expect perfection and can be very critical of myself and other people

13. My pain causes me to be irritable. Not an excuse but something my doctor has stated.

14. I get frustrated easily and sometimes say things I only partially mean

15. I get extremely anxious

16. I don’t want to participate in sex with my partner

I just need some help and guidance to see if this relationship can continue. We are supposed to get engaged and we are having a child together. I should also note that I was in a previous engagement that was physically and sexually abusive and I allowed a lot of things to occur in that relationship that I regret so now I don’t really let anything slide in my current relationship. My current partner’s parents are divorced and my parents are still married but have a tumultuous relationship. At this point, I want to breakup and raise our child in two households. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?