I love my boyfriend but I’m having dreams of another

Hi. I am struggling. Please help without judgement.

When I was a sophomore in college, I met my friend Adam. Him and I had small crushes on each other but moved on quickly understanding we both need different things (ex: he’s religious & I’m not). We became great friends and nothing ever happened. We clarified MULTIPLE times that we didn’t like each other.

Senior year of college I met my current boyfriend. We’ve been dating for almost 3 years!!! I love him so much, he makes me so so happy. I hope I marry this man.

My BF doesn’t really like Adam but trusted me. This past summer, Adam was drunk and confessed that he wished he’d made a move on me back in college. I told my bf and he was pissed (understandably), but I was shocked and hurt too. I really loved Adam as a friend; I believed he loved me as a friend.

I stopped talking to Adam, but it was his birthday and the holidays the past few weeks and I didn’t text him at all. I really miss him and I’ve been having dreams about him (even kissing him). I don’t know why I’m being so pulled to him when I genuinely love my boyfriend so much and would pick him over Adam any day (which I’ve been doing). I just have no one to talk to about this and I don’t know how to rationalize it and get it to stop. Please help if you can.

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