I am 31 weeks pregnant— due early March— and I have an almost 4 year old son. I’m a 3rd grade teacher at a private school (extremely demanding job.) I am terrified about giving birth again, finances, and all the changes to come. I initially chose to try to have another child because I wanted my son to have a sibling, but I personally would love to just have one child. (I have a class of kids at work, I don’t necessarily want to come home to another class of kids…)

The first time around, I was induced and delivered vaginally, but I’m scared of having to have a c section this time. Is it more or less likely after a successful vaginal birth? 😬 What if something goes wrong and this baby doesn’t make it?! I am also dreading the postpartum healing process. It took me years to get my body back to normal (weight and function) and I am nooot looking forward to having to deal with it again. 😓

Breastfeeding didn’t really work out last time and I wanted to try to make it work this time. But I’m nervous that it won’t.

I love the easiness of having one kid. And I secretly cannot comprehend loving another kid the way I love my first! (Not saying it’s impossible, I am scared I won’t have the attachment I have had with my firstborn.) I will have to be mindful of how I divide my attention with two kids… I don’t want to start all over again with the baby stage and waking up in the middle of the night again… buying diapers… guessing what is the cause of the crying…

Sorry for the novel, I redownloaded this app because I don’t have a good outlet for these concerns. If you made it to the end of this and/or have any thoughts or advice, thank you! Bottom line: the first time I had a baby, I was so excited for him to come and had very few worries or concerns and my husband was stressed. This time I am dreading everything and see this baby more as a source of anxiety and my husband is excited. I don’t want to see it this way. I want a healthy attachment to my second child. The end.