Breastfeeding blues

Just kinda need to vent somewhere

Ive always been an underproducer no matter how hard I've worked at it. At one point I was making a little over half of what baby ate each day but my nipples were getting all rashy all the time and sore so my family really rode my a** to backoff from pumping for 6 hours a day and my supply drastically dropped. Now I'm struggling to get about 4 ounces a day and honestly, it feels so goddang pointless. Baby can't latch and get milk (she loses weight at weighted feeds instead of gaining so I've been pumping to get any of the milk I give her) and I'm not even making enough for her to have a single bottle of just breastmilk a day but instead to have an ounce of breastmilk mixed into each formula bottle. We have had to go dairy and soy free due to intolerance in Baby and honestly I think it just depresses me that I can't make enough feed my baby, I couldn't stay not stressed out long enough for her to not be born early. I couldn't stay not sick when pregnant to not be hospitalized multiple times for dehydration from hyperemesis. I just feel like ever step of the way I've failed my baby. I can't make her laugh but my family can, she doesn't want to stop crying if I comfort her, only if I turn on the lion king or let her swing in her swing. She spits up all the time and chokes on it. I just so badly wanted to breastfeed to do one thing right for her but couldn't and the idea of continuing feels pointless because it hurts trying to up my supply and the amount I get is pitiful but I also know that if I quit ill just feel like that's one more thing I'm failing at so I feel like no matter what I do ill feel like a failure and I just needed to know if anyone else is struggling with the internal struggle of quitting or continuing