overstepping in laws…

we told my in laws last weekend that we are expecting our son this august and their reactions were disappointing. little to no excitement, no “congratulations” … just a lot of apprehension and lectures on the timing 🙄

anyways, my fiancé came home from work the other day and informed me that his mom/grandparents have decided to BUY US A HOUSE that we had already told them weeks ago that we didn’t want to live in. it’s 5min down the road from us, even smaller than the place we’re in now, no backyard (we have a very active dog and a child coming soon so this was an absolute dealbreaker). they picked this house because it’s a few houses down from a trusted family friend that they basically want to babysit US and pop over whenever he pleases to “make sure” everything is okay 😐

I so badly want to be grateful for them wanting to buy us a home, but they’re not really doing it to help us.. they’re doing it to keep tabs on us in order to ease their minds because they think we can’t handle having a child. what frustrates me so much is that when this family friend had brought up the house being for sale in his neighborhood, we EXPLICITLY said that we did not want to live there! the only reason we’re still in the house we’re in now is because we can’t find anything cheaper with the same amount of/more space than we have now.. the part of town we live in is not the safest, so if we were going to move, it would ideally be to a decent area.. not 5min down the street just for THEIR peace of mind.

if they really wanted to help us and are clearly willing to fork out a ton of money, I wish they would help us with a security deposit/down payment on a house with more room and in an area that is safer.. or even just paying our current rent a few months in advance so we can focus on the baby’s arrival instead of worrying about whether or not we can afford rent AND groceries.

I feel so ungrateful, I wanna say “it’s the thought that counts” but their thoughts are going directly against our wishes all because they assume we’re not ready or can handle this. we’ve been together since we were like 14, have been living together for almost two years, and have been engaged since last july.

I told my mom about all of this and she said she completely understands where I’m coming from, but she thinks it would be best if we didn’t accept any help from them if we’re not willing to live in the house they wanted to buy. I kind of agree, but this pregnancy has been hard on me and we really just want what’s best for our son in the long run.. and living in an even smaller house with no backyard and still in a crappy area doesn’t seem like what’s best. any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.. thank you