Looking for insight on MIL

Hey :)

So I just feel like I need some insight and guidance on how to navigate this situation with my MIL

Backstory, a year and a half ago I had a stillbirth at 20 weeks. It happened right after we finally announced to everyone that we were expecting. It was pretty traumatizing for myself and my husband, but as a couple we have been able to work through those feelings pretty well.

I’m currently pregnant again, 30 weeks. This time we decided we really wanted to keep our bubble small of who we told. Literally immediate family and close friends. My MIL has had a problem with this from the get go because she wants to be the one to tell her and my FILs entire extended family (which is like 50+ people). I told her to please not do that, that when and if we feel ready we will be sharing that news.

Today she messaged me saying she told them anyway. She said she told them not to message me because she “didn’t know if I’d like it”. She has always been a very selfish narcissistic person, but I really thought this time she was actually going to respect my boundaries.

I’m not sure what to do now. If I give in and say that’s okay I feel like I’m validating her disrespect of my boundaries. But if I tell her how I actually feel, and that what she did was not okay, she will demonize me and I’ll have to accept there will be a feud with her (she’s petty, doesn’t accept fault and holds grudges forever)

What would you all do? I’m feeling pretty frustrated and defeated at the moment