Why can life be so cruel…

It took us 2.5 years and 1 miscarriage along the way to have our first. It’s taken us 5 years to get pregnant again and now that is taken away. After so many rounds with the fertility clinic to have this surprise on a month we weren’t trying just felt like it was meant to be. Turns out it was not. Ultrasound confirmed that if there was anything there, I passed it over the weekend and levels should be well over 10k and I’m 765. Now to decide if we keep trying and if so, how. Do I go back to the fertile clinic. Do we just keep trying natural. Or am I to old and hurt to go through this again at all… I turn 40 in July. I got to see a positive pregnancy test again and get excited and be pregnant again for a bit.

For now, I’ll just lay in bed and cry. Goodbye positive tests.