My "ex" and I weren't really together, I was seeing him for 2 months and we had a laugh together then I found out I was pregnant and he still couldn't have been any nicer to me, telling me he really liked me and he would look after me... On the condition I got an abortion. I was so young and naive I believed everything he said. One night I told him I wanted to keep the baby and he broke down crying on the phone to me and screaming at me, so I just agreed to the abortion. The day came for me to go to the clinic and he drove me. I was 6 weeks and 2 days, I chose to have an operation because the nurse said it would be less traumatic. I got discharged and got back in the car for him to take me home and he never spoke to me again after taking me home. He avoided me at all costs, blocked me on everything. I was heartbroken and devastated at what I'd just done and the fact he wasn't there for me and I trusted him. It's really a big blur after that for a few months and I couldn't cope with the pain any more and I ended up in hospital of an overdose. I had to go to councilling but I only went once and I just convinced myself I'd be okay. I do feel okay about what happened because I know I can't change the past but I think about the baby everyday! Dreaming about him last night has really messed with my head! I have no idea how he feels about what happened, I tried to speak to him about it and he changed the subject and was so off with me then started ignoring me, does he not care? Or he hates thinking about what he did to me? 

Feels like my heart won't ever stop hurting