Pregnant by my mom's boyfriend

Please read everything before you judge me and if you still think I'm a disgusting whore ok. I accept that. I'm 19 and found out I'm pregnant and the dad is my mom's boyfriend. I was so drugged out I barely remember it. I have a bad addiction problem. I'm not trying to excuse what I did but my mom had me on drugs when I was 12 to help me lose up because she needed me to have sex with older men for money because we were struggling. I've battled with addiction on and off. Me and my mom have done drugs together since I was 12. I tried to get sober again but relapsed. I've known her bf since I was 15. When we had sex I was just on soooo many drugs. I was so high I barely remember it. I don't plan to keep this baby. I'm going to the clinic next week. I don't know what I want. Maybe uplifting words but maybe I don't deserve it...

Edit: I don't have any insurance to go to a rehab program. I'm also not keeping this baby. Not even just because of who the father is. There's a million reasons I should not have a child right now and I know it's the right thing to do. And I know you don't mean harm but I really don't like comments about God. I don't believe in God and if there is one he can have whatever shitty life he gave me back. I would like a refund.

Edit: For grace I do know people who have aborted. My own mom has. And most of the ones I know do not regret it. I did not asked for you all to try to talk me out of this thank you. I knew what my decision was when I made this post. I don't need anyone telling me I'm making the wrong decision when I know I'm not