TTC and a little crazy

So, my husband and I have been TTC for 4 years now...we have gotten pregnant twice but I miscarried very early on in both. I ended up very very depressed and it took me a long time after each to decide to try again...we are finally trying again(started seeing my doctor in October) I'm very scared about the possibility of becoming pregnant and losing another baby...I don't know if I can handle that heart break again...I really am hoping for good news soon I swear I have become an EXPERT on peeing on sticks in all this time with pregnancy tests and ovulation tests I feel a little crazy sometimes...