my faith (this is very long but I'm struggling)

I have strayed a lot from God over the last year. I have said I hated him and that I wanted nothing to do with him and stuff like that. recently I have felt this tug towards him and I have tried to ignore it but I can't. I read the bible for a little bit and I just sat there crying saying sorry and all this stuff to him the other nigh and it's really hard to stay on his path and I just want to turn my back again but I can't I feel like something  is stopping me. my best friends absolutely hates all religion and now that I'm starting to relize that God is amazing and he's not a bad thing and that woke Christians just give Christianity a bad name and that the bible just truly wants us to accept everyone and love everyone. but back to my friend, I don't know what I would do w/out her. I want to tell her that my views have changed and that I was wrong and that God is amazing but I feel like she would think differently if me because she hates religion so much but idk. I believe in him again and I want to try to explain to her that Christianity isn't a bad thing but I feel like she would just get mad and wouldn't want to listen to me and she wouldn't be my best friend anymore