My husband and I have been married for 4.5 years. It has been incredibly rocky and we both had alot of growing up to do. Honestly I feel that I have put purposeful effort into bettering myself and being the wife he deserves. I look back and think I married to young and am glad I'm finally in a place where I can realize when I am wrong. My husband seems to have stayed the same. He still drinks almost every day, gambles and lies to me about silly things. If it were just that I'd be fine but since he started this job 7 months ago he s been coming home at 230 am and 330 am almost every night he works. Now even on days off he says he s going to play golf w his boss.....I'm trying to believe him but life has taught me that people fucking lie. I feel by believing him I'll become a nave woman living in denial of the very obvious signs. We just got into it for the thousandth time. He said the same things- he was gambling at work w friends .....he tells me he ll stop doing this but after a week or two he goes rt back to staying out all night. Idk what to do. I want a baby I'm seeing a fertility doc finally and this is just making that all fade away. My dream of being a mom is buried beneath a pile of empty promises and false apologies. Idk