Tears of emptiness

I would like to make this as short as I can there is no proof to what I am about to say but please no judgement in the comments all I ask is that you send me your prayers and your understanding and a little bit of empathy many of us struggle with trying to conceive for years others is not that hard for me it's been basically 13 years and I have never been pregnant. My last partner and love of my life was 50 years old and had three children that we're all heads. By the time I met him we tried for a year and 7 months and nothing happened I begin to feel empty and the tears begin to flow there is this voice of the devil or Satan telling me that this man has secretly had a vasectomy without my knowledge sadly I will never know and I don't think he would tell me knowing how much I want children of my own. I recently got diagnosed with high risk HPV. Today I am going to take A HSG test to find out about my fallopian tubes and whether there is a block. When I told him about HPV he was very understanding yet he hasn't called me in three days. I just ask for your prayers and that all things work out in my favor and his to because despite my thoughts I have no proof amen