Thank you ... you've given me hope

After 5 years TTC & no luck trying to conceive naturally I feel like maybe God doesn't want me to be a mum ... I feel I've been through a lot with TTC, the horrible tests & being denied treatment ... month after month of disappointment & I've tried to take my life many a time because every month is just a pit of sadness without being a mum :( I feel like this was my job, I was put on earth to be a mum & the one thing I want & need I can't have ...

BUT

Seeing the amount of hope with the community & the app I want to start trying again properly ... i think im strong enough now ... I know it's silly but seeing you gals on here, you've made me have hope again & now I know I'm not alone so thank you ... & day 9 of my cycle & I had sex for the first time since October with my other half WITHOUT bursting into tears & thinking how sex is just a painful remember .... SO I think I'm ready to start properly trying again :) & you all have helped me realise to NOT GIVE UP !!