Pregnancy Feelings
After months of trying to conceive, I finally get my BFP. I was filled with a million emotions (happiness, excitement, nervousness, fear, etc.). I couldn't wait for what was to come. Many of my friends had kids before me and when I told them I was pregnant all they could say was "oh well have fun." Of course they were excited for my husband and I, but all they could do is tell me how horrible being pregnant was. The constantly feeling sick and being uncomfortable. The stretching of the muscles and ligaments and how painful that could be. The swelling of your feet. How tired you always felt. In general, just how miserable being pregnant was but in the end the best thing came out of it.
Oddly, I wanted that. I wanted to be "miserable". I wanted to feel pregnant. I wanted all the bad that came with the good. I wanted every last bit of what they said would happen. Here I am 28 weeks along, I don't show, all my normal clothes still fit, my feet aren't swollen, I'm not uncomfortable, I never got sick...I don't feel like I'm going to be a mom. This is my first child and I already feel like I failed her because I feel I failed at being pregnant with her. I feel her moving, I can tell her senses are coming in, I know she's there. She's the calmest baby until her daddy is around. Then she goes wild and responds to him. They have the best bond in the world. So while I may feel I have already failed, I know that I haven't because the joy my daughter and her father have when they're together is all that I need to know that I will and have succeeded. It's true, when your child is happy, you're happy.
Now I just can't wait for her to be born!
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