Weve been trying for several mths to have a baby and already have three kids together.at first I only wanted two but he comes from a big family and has always wanted a big family. He's been actively trying as we'll and very proactive. He's an amazing dad with his children. He loves them all and lives his life for them but not once but twice in this last week he's been moody and screamed I should have an abortion sent me into tears each time. He knows I'm Christian and don't belive in this. There's a chance the baby might not be his due to a possible date rape. At first he didn't care and still wanted the baby, either or. But recently another victim has pooped up and it has been confirmed she was raped. I'm not in process of trying to file charges as well and joined forces with the other victim. Anyways at first I wasn't sure exactly if I was fully raped or not and figured they would've used protection at least to hide them selves and this had happened seven days before getting a possible posotive with my ovulation. So it was a slim chance. Anyways I'm soo lost I have no idea what to do. I've thought about myself to just haven't had the courage to talk about it and don't want to abort my husbands baby. We've tried for soo long for this. I am lost even though I'm Christian the though is still crossing my mind as the men who have been doing this in our town aren't even white. I'm not racist but I'm not sure I would be able to raise a child from a different background or one from those circumstances. So I've thought also about adoption! I'm soo lost I am also scared if I did have an abortion one my family and two what if I couldn't get pregnant again. I'm soo confused and hurt. Not only did he not talk about it privately he screamed it both times about the abortion in front of my friend which caused me to cry :(. He's always been supportive and talked about everything in private and not liked to publicly talk. I do understand if he wants me to I'm just upset he didn't talk privately and the way he said it. He's not the same with this pregnancy either which I feel I'm losing a lot of that emotional bonding :( I am just so lost and scared scared of everything at this point. Scared of having a baby from a different race which I am not fluent in. Also how fair would that be to the child how do you explain he/she's a product of a date rape. I know parents of different back grounds have babies and I support that but at least in those cases that child has a parent from each background who knows the culture. I'm scared of losing my husband I'm scared of if I do have an abortion I'll never get pregnant. I mean it was seven days before I had a posotive OPk but still there's always a small chance and that small chance is eating at us both I think. I just wish he had talked to me about it and none gone about it the way he had. Although abortion has never been even a small chance in the past or accepted by either of us so maybe that made it hard. I get that you guys can't give me answers I just need to vent and hopefully find some friendly non judgemental advice.