So much

Need to vent some where. My partners sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 33 she was given under a year some how by some miracle she's still here, very poorly it's just a matter of when really, she's in a hospice at the moment. Things are so in the air, my partner is a very strong but silent type so he doesn't speak at all about feelings ect so I've been very much in the dark about everything. I feel so selfish I've been fretting about he doesn't want me ect because he's been so distant, working so much and he doesn't want sex barely even kisses me and doesn't speak to me at all unless it's what's for dinner. It's got To the point I nearly cried over the fact he said to our 3 year old how much he loves me and it really got me. All came to a head tonight ended up with an argument lots of tears and him off to his mums. Even though we have spoken about everything now I know what's going on in that head of his (well kind of) it's not right to even consider a baby right now. I just don't know how to be there for him when he doesn't open up at all.

Very much aware she's dying I've already said we will have her child as no one is willing to step up and we have two of our own. I'm trying to be there for him but he blanks me out completely. I try backing off I'm called heartless I try to get him to talk he blanks me. Also he's drinking heavily if mention that my head gets ripped off. Also he's off to work at 4am waking me at 5am saying baby was making noises he's worried and me to check he told me last night he wasn't he just gets paranoid and needs me to check same with handles in the house he's checking them all the time and the cooker and if he touches he cooker he has to recheck incase he's turned it on.