I am 18 weeks today and I feel like I am drowning in depression. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does I have suicidal thoughts. Is this normal? I am also gaining weight (I know it's normal) and it drives me crazy that I don't know what to wear anymore. I go to the mall, I barely find clothes that fit me. I am always on heels (as I work in fashion) but lately I can barely last 15 minutes on them. I am falling apart and I don't know how to make myself feel better. My SO is so supportive yet I don't want to talk to him, I don't want him touching me, hugging me, trying to make me feel better. He annoys me to death and honestly he is just trying so hard to be supportive. He asked me to go on a date tonight and I said no. I am so down and I don't know how to lift myself up. I swear I don't know what to do with myself. This has never happened so I don't know how to deal with it. I don't think I can do it for another 4 1/2 months without some sort of "remedy".. anything u can suggest I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you 😢