The one thing that I have realized since I have embarked on this journey is that no matter what you have to hold on to hope. Last year was really hard for me. I allowed myself to get swallowed up by all the negativity. Last year in April I had all the test such as the hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test, blood work, my husband was tested and we both checked out fine. Because of my age and the fact that we had been trying on our own for six months to get pregnant, my doctor suggested fertility drugs so I started taking clomid in May, 50 milligrams. Then in June we hit a road block, when I was having my follicle ultrasound a polyp was discovered on my uterus. To make a long story short I had to stop taking clomid and have surgery. So my doctor scheduled the surgery in July so that I would be able to resume the clomid in August. I resumed taking clomid and eventually in September my doctor decided to increase my clomid to 100 milligrams. Fast forward to my second cycle of completing the 100 milligrams of clomid which was around November and I hit another road block. I had developed a large cyst on my ovary and would have to stop taking clomid until the cyst went away. I immediately fell into a deep depression and lost all hope. I was depressed during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then in January my husband asked me why I stopped going to the doctor and I told him that I felt hopeless and he encouraged me to go back to my doctor. So fast forward to February, of this year, I completed another round of 100 milligrams of clomid this past cycle. I don't think I got pregnant this cycle but I am holding on to the hope that one of these cycles I will be. It may not be next month or the month after that, but I have to hold on to the hope. Going through this journey I went through periods where I questioned my relationship with God even, because I wondered why he would deny me and not others. I went through all of those emotions. Staying positive is hard to do, when you are trying to conceive but I try to focus on the positive of my situation. Like the fact that I have insurance and a doctor that is just as committed to getting me pregnant as me and my husband are. So I am saying all this to say where ever you are in your journey embrace the journey. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Look at each negative test as one step closer to getting your BFP! At the end of the day, all the disappointments, negative pregnancy test, and tears of frustration and sadness won't matter and will be replaced with tears of joy when you hold that positive test in your hands or hear your baby's heart beat for the first time. Baby dust to all!