Sorry but I'm complaining

I am 36+2 I have soo much pressure on my vaginia for almost two weeks already. I got tested for a UTI and no such luck negative nothing they can treat...whatever. On Wednesday I developed the most joyous symptom yet; Hemmorhoids I can't even believe the pain that comes with that. I'd rather be in labor! My first was 10 days late and I'm hoping for this one just to hit term and vacate the premises. I am sooo excited to meet him anyway but I really really need my body back I feel like I'll never be normal down there again! 😟😞😳🙁