How's everyone feeling about infertility?

Question

I feel like I'm loosing myself if not already lost.

TTC two and half years...failing miserably. All my friends now have children I'm the only one without. I had gor friendly with some girls who were struggling to conceive too which was nice to have someone who understood & they're pregnant too now except one who is on clomid and ready for IVF.

All of my tests are OK up to now, I have suspected endo & I have a feeling there's going to be an issue with my tubes which are being flushed next month to check.

I feel so different than who I was. I'm angry. Upset. Disappointed. Can't imagine my future now.

It's crazy cause I have good days and bad days....some days I'm just so happy I have my partner and think how some ppl don't even have that. Other days I just brood and freak out that I won't ever have a family.

Most ppl I see get to the "fuck it" staged I've never been at that stage. I've found it the most stressful thing that's ever happened to me! That's riddiculous isn't it?!

How is everyone feeling who is dealing with such infertility?

Answer

Hello darling.. everything you wrote was as if it were me writing it.. (I have been ttc 3 years now).
I was over thinking everything, getting down, forcing the both of us to follow a healthy lifestyle, obsessively testing and getting so down when seeing no lines.
Had my tubes checked, bloods done, eggs checked, std. . . All clear
Other half had sperm check found out he has 99% abnormal sperm and to think about ivf. 
So we agreed to take a few months break (no testing, hoping or trying) and then we will look into ivf. 
Anyway I have been so ill this month that I ended up at the doctors as I was so sick. Turned out I was pregnant... omg I can't explain those feelings of seeing those lines... shock happiness disbelief!! In fact I disbelieved so much I took a further 6 positive  tests. (This was only 4 days ago)
Instead of being happy I spent every second looking at fake positives, evaps and misscarieges.
The other day I started getting a pulling pinching aching feeling... followed by another god knows how many hours researching about this... then yesterday it happened woke up to blotting then bright pink then when I was walking around bright red blood. My so convinced me it was just embedding which helped me to relax. 
It's completely stopped this morning so couldn't help but to retest this morning... no line whatsoever! 
Words can't describe what im going through right now.....
But seeing your post reminds me of myself at your stage. I I could go back and have a word with myself, I'd tell myself to relax, have faith and when the time comes it will and no matter how much I obsess, wrorry stress,I have no power over this! 
As upset as I am right now I know that this is a miracle - to find out he only has 1% chance of conceiving and to be told our only route is ivf! Then seeing those lines... I have finally after all these years learnt my lesson... relax & it only takes one!
I wish you all the luck in the world I really do.. your time will come have faith.

Answer

Have some of you ladies tried HGH...I've heard some amazing success stories on it and it actually works amazing for infertility and hormones...I'm starting on it at the end of this month and i just know in 3 months we will have a bfp

Answer

We've been TTC for over 3 years now and have recently had a failed IVF cycle. Every month when AF shows up its so disheartening. All of my friends have had children and are on to their second/third. It is a daily struggle especially when you want a child so badly and it just won't happen. I'm going for a frozen transfer in April/may time and am doing OPK tests, BBT and both me and hubby are trying new supplements. Fingers crossed we get our BFP soon, good luck to you xxx

Answer

I totally understand but I have only been trying for 7 months now. My 2 best friends know that I am struggling. One has 4 kids and a absent husband and the other started trying last month after she lost her first daughter 10yrs ago. She is now 4 weeks pregnant. No one else knows that we are trying as we don't want the constant look of disappointment on our parents faces when we tell them 'not this month'. I have the start of my Tests next month to see if I ovulate (pretty sure I do as I have had positive dip sticks) and we are just going to go from there. Some nights I lie in bed and cry because I think that I might never carry my own child. Other nights I think maybe adoption will be enough but I know that I am only settling for second best there and I would hate to resent that child for not coming from my womb. I have my partner who is very supportive but he just doesn't feel as strongly about children as I do and it feels like I am doing this alone. Gotta keep trying though!

How's everyone feeling about infertility?

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