Random self pity?

So me and my SO have been together almost 4 years. He's really a great person, super nice, funny and a great step dad to my son. I am a very independent person, was raised that way.  Even when it comes to more "manly" jobs I can do it myself, oil change, tire change, fixing appliances in the house. But every once in a while I want to be treated like a lady I guess you would say, I mean yes I can do it all myself but sometimes I just don't want to. I think I don't come out with the words right or something bc I try to tell my SO this and he gets so angry thinking I am saying he treats me bad and says "if I'm that horrible just leave" now I don't take those words seriously bc he's the type that if he's hurt he goes straight to defensive mode. I just don't know how to tell him, I'm tired, not physically but emotionally drained from feeling like I have the weight of everything on my shoulders and I understand I am to blame do to my nature of "I can do it all" I just want to be treated like a girl sometimes!!! Sheesh! Maybe I want flowers randomly open the door for me show your appreciation. To me actions speak louder than words. I get depressed about it every so often