I just want out of the first trimester!!

I'm miserable with pregnancy symptoms, but that's not the reason I want out of my first trimester.  The main reason is because I'm so scared of having another missed misscarriage that I can't stand it.  I know if it happens there's nothing I can do, but I'm tired of worrying about it. I kinda feel like my life is on hold till I get past these twelve weeks.  I don't want to get excited or act or even feel pregnant.  I guess I'm to scared to get attached :(. I know this sounds stupid to some but these are the thoughts of someone who has struggled with infertility for years & a loss.  Guess I just needed to get it off my chest.