Stressing! Am I wrong for this ?

Question

My wife and I have been trying to find a donor for our second baby and this time around is so much harder. 
For our first baby, she carried. Our known donor was my brother ( we wanted the baby to be blood related to me). I was blessed with such an incredible bond with my brother. When I asked he never hesitated. He came over, did his thing in a cup and went about his business. It took about 4-5 try's because we weren't really tracking anything.

It took me a while to be ready to carry, mainly because I was scared idk. We have a couple of willing friends but they all asked to be a part of the child's life, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm ok with them being a cool uncle but not a "dad". So, here's where we're stuck. I don't want to share custody with anyone other than my wife. Am I wrong for this?

Answer

You should have a contract made up so no one will share custody but you too and asp if they are willing to be donors, simply say as an "uncle" roll, no more or no less. You have the right to feel that way.

Answer

We had the same problem looking for donors. No there is nothing wrong with wanting to raise the child with just you and your partner. I feel like it makes things confusing to have a mom a mummy and a dad. Plus you and your partner will raise your child the way you both want without a third input. If they aren't willing to donate and settle for "uncle" or something I'd move on.

Answer

It is important to think about. Also you older son will have a different experience of parents and significant adults around him, that a new donor needs to think about. Great that you have friends willing to offer. Hard to assess who knows themselves best and be most consistent in how much contact they want. A good thing for the children in the long run, but a tricky job for you to happily co-ordinate extra relationships.

Answer

I don't think you are wrong for this, they are just an ingredient missing that we girls need to procreate. 
How did you ask you brother about donating sperm for you guys? I saw it in a movie and I thought it was pretty cool bc then the baby shares the same DNA as the other parent. I told my wife I would like one of her brothers to be our donor so they can share Dna with her and she says that they will probably say no, or would want to be in the babies life more than just an uncle. I at least want to try and ask, but I don't know how, can you give me advice? Will you guys tell your baby who is their biological father if they ask sometime in the future?

Answer

You are so not wrong! I feel the same way. You just want it to be you and your wife that's all

Stressing! Am I wrong for this ?

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