When/how to tell infertile coworker?

Question

My office mate has been very open about her and her husband's struggle to get pregnant (trying for 2+ yrs).  She talks about it almost daily.  I am 10wks and want advice on when and how to tell her.  I've known her for less than a yr.

She has said the past that she hates it when people tiptoe around her but I don't know how to best share my happy news when she is struggling...

Any advice?

Answer

It took my hubby and I 3.5 years to conceive. From my experience there isn't an easy way of telling her. It will still be painful for her. Don't take her reaction to heart, although she will be happy for you she may also get sad for herself. It's better you tell her when you feel it's the right time. Last thing you want is for her to find out from someone else.

Answer

Tell her when it's almost time to go home so just in case if she gets upset she won't have to be at work being sad

Answer

It's hard to take but she will be happy for you. I wouldn't tell her through text or at the end of the day. Tell her to her face but privately. I was never bitter about someone else getting pregnant when they planned it. It was the 'I got drunk one night and I am not quite sure who the daddy is'. Those are the ones that I couldn't stomach. 
You have a happy announcement to make so own it. She will feel sad and a little jealous but those are her feelings that she will have to deal with and she will. Making too big a deal of it will probably make her feel worse as it kinda highlights what she feels are her inadequacies. Share your journey with her and give her lots of encouragement that one way or another she will be a mamma too one day.

Answer

Thanks everybody!  I really appreciate the different ideas.  I plan to tell her after my next appt in 2 wks.

Answer

I would make sure she is the first person in your office you tell, so as soon as you feel comfortable telling coworkers. Tell her privately and just give her time to process it.

Answer

I went through this. One of my good work friends has been trying for over a year for baby #2, baby #1 took her 2.5 years.. It took me 2 months... I felt like a jerk, like I didn't want to tell her to hurt her feelings. But I ended up texting her on a Friday night and told her. I'm sure she was upset. But by the time she saw me Monday she was really happy for me and talking about buying us stuff and everything. There's no easy way to do it, but she's going to be more hurt if you try and avoid her and leave her out in my opinion.

Answer

I had the same situation. My friend has been working for 2.5 years. It took us 15 months. I told her via text message before I told any of our mutual friends. It was a short text saying news will be breaking soon, and I wanted to let her know. She didn't respond for a few hours, but I know she took the time to deal with it herself. After my 15 months, I was an achy mess at every announcement.

Answer

If she said don't tip toe then dont. I hated it when people lie to me then I would find out later like that they were trying to spare my feelings.

When/how to tell infertile coworker?

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