Anyone else an emotional wreck?

I can't get over my emotions. I'm sad beyond sad I'm pregnant with my 3rd son. Just found out this week. I've been spotting for a week like a moderate period but everything checks normal. My mom is out of the hospital but still not normal. I'm jealous of every person having the opposite gender and hate every person who told me they knew I was having a boy. My sisters and sis in laws are all pregnant with their firsts and I feel like no one cares about this sweet prince. My emotions are all over the place. I'm already thinking I should try to get pregnant one more time so I can have HER! It's the only thing that calms me down. Lol! I hate being pregnant! But I desperately want my daughter. I've had 3 miscarriages, and hated people who talked about their disappointment. But I get it now. I feel like my life is ruined. Like I failed the biggest test in my life. What have you done to overcome gender disappointment? And these raging hormones! Help me with encouraging words to get through the week. Everyday has improved. I know I'll love him.