I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my second child. With my first I had a very easy labor and delivery just because my body responded well but I woundn't want the doctor who was on call to deliver any more of my children. He said during labor he was going to cut me to open me up (the episiotomy) and I stopped him and said I did not wish to have one and would rather tear. He kept telling me he had to do it and then cut me anyway. In my experience, mine was super painful and every nurse who checked me commented on how bad he cut me. My best friend said it was diagonal so I assume he made a large mediolateral incision. The healing process was difficult. Now I am pregnant with my second and having really bad legitimate anxiety only because of worrying if I'll end up with another episiotomy. I don't know why but having that one choice taken away from me then having to deal with the consequences of the choice made for me affected me a lot. I feel if I had chose the procedure, the pain would have not left such an impression on me. I'm in another hospital, one known to be the best in my area for delivering babies. I have another doctor in a different practice. Yet I am so nervous about if I will be cut again. Also, it might not even matter because I might have to have a C-section with this one and be cut that way. This baby boy has been consistently staying transverse. I do not know what to do to ease my fears. Did anyone else have a choice taken from you during labor? Did anyone have an episiotomy with one child but tore naturally with another?