He treats me like a queen I treat him like shit

I want to become a better spouse to him. I'm always bitchy, in a bad mood, critical towards him. He doesn't deserve it. He's been there for me for 5 years and counting, has never judged me, criticised me, raised his voice at me, never verbally/physically abused me. He tells me all the time he loves me and is very happy with our relationship but even then I bitch. I know it's a mental thing and something I have to work on myself. Even though he won't read this I want him to know I love him so freaking much and I'm sorry. I don't deserve him and I'm very lucky.