I don't know where to post this

So when I'm in a relationship I feel trapped and like I can't breathe. When I was a baby my dad walked out on me and some really awful things have happened to me! not that I want attention for saying that! but with relationships how can I make it so I don't feel trapped or like I'm not good enough? I see all these happy people in great relationships and I just can't help but wonder why I push every guy away and feel trapped and suffocated? Can I get some advice, please? And thank you!