How do you love yourself?

I've been concious of my weight since I was 13. I've starved myself and binged crazily. I can get so angry when I eat unhealthy and never seem to be happy when eating healthy. I know I need to be happy with myself but I can't help always feeling not good enough and I WISH I didn't care about the calories or constantly think about food and was just Normal. How do you learn to be happy with your body??