So depressed

I took a cheap blue dye test today before work today . Well I got a faint blue line right away, I even asked coworkers if I was seeing things (after 10 years with my husband and been trying every since I most definitely have line eyes) they all saw it too!! I was so excited I couldn't contain myself so I told hubs he was also at work . Well so when I got home I showed him and he sees nothing . It hurts so bad I do obsess over getting pregnant I want it so bad .I have a son but his father took him from me when he was 9 months old and I wasn't able to see him really until he was 5 he is 11 now and we have a wonderful relationship and I love him with all my heart but I only get him 6 days a month . it's like I have this desir to be able mother all the time and to a child that no one will ever take away. I do start clomiphene on my next cycle but still feel like it will never happen for me . I just want a baby so bad. Everyone keeps saying stop obsessing over it stop thinking about just stop trying. But they don't understand the feeling I have I do try to stop thinking about but every month af shows her ugly face, every bfn , every time a have sex . I think about I can't help it .

Any advice would be greatly appreciated I need to just know I don't know what lol how to fix me I guess

Yes I did see a specialist my ovaries and uterus are fine but my tubes where bad so they did repair and said my fimbriae didn't look very good