5 year old doesn't listen

My 5 year old daughter does NOT listen to me. Sometimes she does, but most of the time she doesn't. She will listen to everyone else but me. My parents look down on me and say that I shouldn't do that and it's not good for children to be spanked. Even though my sisters and I were spanked as children. I don't like to spank at all, I've only done it a few times but then I feel so bad about it. But how else do I get my daughter to listen to me? Time out doesn't unless my dad puts her there. When I put her there it's funny and she says she likes timeout. I'm stressing out so bad about it. Even in public, it's embarrassing. Since I moved out of my parents house in July 2014, I thought it would be better since my mom wouldn't be around and tell me how to parents (in front of my daughter). My daughter is very smart and above average in school and in general since she was a baby. But I don't know what to do. Any ideas please?