Do you...? What is this?

Does anyone else ever just sit in there car fir long periods of time bc you don't want to go inside your house? I tend to destroy myself when left alone, so I've been sitting in my car for 2 hours thinking if I do nothing, I won't do anything bad, but I'm also not doing anything good...what's the difference between my car and my bedroom? Why do the bad thoughts attack me there and not here? Any one have any ideas or advice? Ex-bulemic, hoarder, anxiety of abandonment, afraid of being alone/never finding love or being able to fall in love fully.