Birthday party!

So my mother in law wants to throw my four year old a party she said said we(my husband & I) were more than welcome to come. All of his family & I are not on good terms. He isn't either, they hate us. My dagger spends most of her weekends there and she loves them. When my husband told me "so my mom is throwing nati a paty for her  5 years old, she said we could come" it bugged me bc I think she should have consulted me about it first bc it's her party & when she is older she is going to realize that mommy && daddy weren't at her paty when she turned 5 then she's going to start as king questions. My husband got mad at me for giving him my opinion that she should have conculted me before making plans what do u think?