The guy I was seeing just broke up with me and I'm crushed. And he was so nice about it, so I can't even be mad for him being a jerk or something. It was my first relationship and I feel horrible. I really liked him, he was so nice and respe, after me only being pursued by creeps in the past.

I shouldn't have ever pursued dating, honestly, because I knew heartbreak would happen and I can't handle it, especially more than once. I never was able to find a guy for 20 years, then I finally find one and I only get a month of happy. I can't even appreciate the good because it just makes the pain worse.

And I would like to be friends with him in the future, but I don't know how I could ever do that without thinking of the past.

I'm in so much heartbreak right now. I just want it to go away but I don't know how to make that happen.